Excerpt from "Room 102"

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“I think he left”. With a shy and empathic smile and with a voice closer to a whisper, the nurse reported his death. Then she added: “But I should call the doctor to confirm that “ as if she was trying to give us a final dose of hope. Every time I used to climb the stairs leading to the first floor and walk through the corridor leading to room 102, I would echo my favorite prayers: "Kah.Ha.Ya. Ayn.Sad. [This is ] a mention of the mercy of your Lord to His servant Zakariah, When he appealed his Lord for a hidden invocation ...”. I was scared to meet death face to face while I knew that death was hanging around in the same corridor. Sometimes I was seized by a light and a cold shiver while she (death) was passing by. For years, many years, i was obsessed with the death of my father, and his grievous loss. Maybe since the terrorism period in Algeria. My mother declares: “I was scared he gets murdered so grows anger and finds hate a way to your hearts” When he turned seventy, and began to be hit by various diseases, I began to watch his breath out every time I find him asleep and not to get reassured unless I see his chest moving up and down. In the corridor leading to room 102, We reached the nurse who has just left his room, we asked her about his case and she replied “he's relieved and he 's sleeping quietly”. When I opened the door and looked at his chest, I knew he was not breathing. My mother gapped his hand, it was warm and smooth and does not resemble death in anything, but his face was like one has got rid of a last gasp. We afterwards forewarned the nurse. Usually, after he has dinner and takes a dose of painkillers, we used to leave him to sleep and return to the hospital the next morning. This time we decided to return and visit him at 11pm. We were like one who conforms a hidden invocation. In the oncology department, there are no specified visiting hours. How ridiculous it is to establish visiting hours when there is a familiar visitor who enters the place at any time and without any permission. The nurse has said: “he was waiting for you to leave”. He was waiting for the women of his life to leave, My mother, my twin sister and I. However, he left in an intimate instant with death, not seen by anyone. He prevented us from being face to face with death. He left in The minute separating the moment the nurse has stepped out of the room and the moment we stepped in. He passed away quietly and with love.